Happy Anniversary

See what Mark had delivered to me yesterday?

I'm looking forward to many more, too!

I Am Thankful

I love this time of year. I love fall. I love Thanksgiving and being with family and friends. I love Christmas lights, decorating my tree, admiring my nativity scene and the semblance behind it. What can I say? I just love this time of year.

But if I'm honest, there's also a downside to all of this. The side where you're gone for 3 or 4 days, enjoying turkey and ham, sweet potatoes, pecan pie and the like. The side where you're enjoying your family and friends, getting an adrenaline rush from all your Black Friday shopping deals. And then... well, then it's back to reality.

The reality that Aunt Sarah isn't around anymore to wrestle and play with the kids while you have a moment of rest. That Mamaw, Papa, Grandma, and Papa Packy aren't here to help corral and monitor, play and read, and give horsey rides. When you come home to mounds of laundry, bills to pay, presents to wrap, sheets to change, meetings, appointments, and the everyday normalcy and stresses of life.

Days where your 3 year old's attitude could rival that of a hormonal 16 year old school girl. Days when you wonder if there is ever going to be a Sunday that Anna doesn't forget her Cubbies book that you just handed her and us have to turn around to go back and get it. Days where you turn around and find your son dressed in his sister's pink kitty cat pajamas saying, "Look Mommy! Jammies. MINE!"

Days where it seems like the laundry and the dishes will never end and like you'll never get back on any form of a schedule. Days where arguments abound, disobedience is rampant, and days when I sit back and wonder how two toddlers could make their rooms look like a natural disaster just hit our house.

There are just days like this. But within each of those days are blessings tucked in so deeply that failing to see them as such is near impossible. Days where Anna runs up to me, gives me a big hug and says "I missed you Mommy. You're the bestest." Days where Eli learns new words and gives me his sly little smile when he knows he's done something wrong. Days where Anna wants Mommy to tuck her into bed and when they both want to be rocked and sung to. Days when Anna says the cutest little prayers and recites her Cubbies memory verses. Days when Eli's Puggles teachers tell me he's such a good little boy and is always so well behaved. Days when despite having to discipline and instruct 1000 times over, that I can hold my kids and look into their precious little faces and know that I am truly blessed beyond measure. And for that, I am thankful.

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. To see what she and everyone else have "not" been doing this week, you can go to http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

I'm always amazed at how each and every week always seem to be full of Not Me! moments. God certainly has a sense of humor and blesses us with the humor in our lives (albeit, sometimes we don't see the humor in it until later) to get us through all those tough moments of diapers, vomit, tantrums, and downright embarrassing moments. The past few weeks have been no different.

It certainly was not me who bribed my kids with gum today in return for good behavior while with the babysitter so I could work at the church today. Not Me! My kids are always on their best behavior and never need an incentive to not act like the sweet, precious toddlers they are.

It also wasn't me who intentionally gave them gum knowing I had to run by the jewelry store to pick up my ring I had repaired so that I could use it as another incentive for them to listen (ie. something like this: "Stand right here and don't move. If you run off, I'll take your gum away.") No one does that, right? And certainly Not Me!

I'm such an excellent bowler that I certainly did not lose to my 2 year old when we went bowling for Daddy's birthday (with the guards up). Oh no, Not Me! Maybe I can just say I wanted him to feel good about his game..... boy do I wish that were the truth. Haha!

I most certainly did not go to get Eli after his nap time only to find he had taken his diaper off and decided it would be fun to run all his trucks and trains through his poop. Oh no, Not Me! Eli always keeps his diaper on. I then did not proceed to just throw trucks away rather than attempt to clean the disgustingness off of them. Oh no, Not Me! I'm always such a good steward of money that I take the time to clean poop out of of the grooves of the tires on toys...

It really wasn't me who left both my kids out of town with their grandparents this week and didn't even say goodbye to Eli in an effort to avoid him going ballistic because he's such a Momma's Boy. Oh no, Not Me!

After being away from my kiddos, I certainly did not skip out on Girl's Night with a devotional and spa time (that I desperately needed) while out of town for the Race for the Cure just so I could go see my kiddos. I mean, who skips Girl's Night? And who then lets their kids stay up until 10:30 playing Monsters with Papa just because they missed them? Certainly Not Me! Note: I'd do it again! It was good to have a break but oh so precious to see them again and have them back home with me.

It really wasn't me who initiated a game of Quiet Water, Still Water in an attempt for a moment of solace on the way home from getting the kids and participating in the Race for the Cure. I mean, who does that knowing that Eli has no idea what the game is about but that if Anna will be quiet, so will he? Really, Not Me!

While rushing to get ready for church yesterday, it most definitely wasn't me who discovered the kids knocked the cinnamon roll icing off the counter and into the floor and then not wanting to figure something else out just got a knife and scraped it back into the container. Oh no, Not Me! I then certainly did not have my husband come ask me if it was my hair that he had found on his cinnamon roll and have to explain to him what I had done. Oh yeah.... Not Me!

And last but not least. While at a college football game, my son absolutely did not point to a rather large woman's plumbers crack and say "Poo Poo?? Mommy, poo poo??!" And then I did not proceed to die of embarrassment knowing good and well that if my husband and sister heard him that she did too. Oh No, pppllleeease say it wasn't me!

What have you not been doing this week? Join the bloggy carnival at http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

I'm A Quitter

Most people who know me know that I'm ordinary. I've never accomplished much. I never earned some huge achievement, gleaned much public recognition, been very many places, or been noteworthy. I'm merely average. I don't drive a distinctive car. I cruise in a mini van. I don't live in a gated community. I have a nice, average house. I was average at softball - too scared of failing to move up. I was mediocre at basketball, feeling proud of myself for getting to start 1 game and play the first quarter. That was an accomplishment for me.... in 6th grade. I was never in the "in" crowd. Not someone people would look at and say "Isn't she beautiful" or "I'd love to look like her." Not me. I'm average. Average when I ran track. Average when I played the trumpet in band. An average pianist. An average singer. What can I say? I'm average.

What you might not also know is that I'm a quitter. I quit softball because I didn't like the coach telling me how to hold the bat and I didn't like sitting on the bench, although I liked it better than the idea of being on the field in front of people. I quit basketball because it wasn't my cup of tea, although I could play for hours outside my house just shooting hoops. I quit piano lessons even though it's my favorite thing to do because I wanted to play the trumpet - that is, until I didn't want to play it anymore. And then I quit it too.

I ran track when I was a sophomore in high school. It was good for me. I was out of shape and undisciplined (much like now, to my dismay). I lost 33 lbs the first year - not sure if it was from all the running or because I was such a nervous wreck before each track meet that I literally threw up at every single one of them. After that, I wanted to quit it too. But my dad, being much wiser, began to see a pattern in me. That I'm a quitter. I quit everything up until then and this was final: I wasn't allowed to quit track. So I ran my junior year and earned the most improved award. Whoo hoo. Now that's an accomplishment, right? Hardly, but it did spark a little flame in my heart that said, hanging in there pays off. I still have that plaque, as insignificant as it really is, yet in some weird, round-about way, it's not as insignificant as I think.

Shortly after that, I started piano lessons again to brush up for my brother's wedding. Between that and the leftover nerve pills from track, I made it. And I fulfilled my promise to my dad to one day take piano lessons again. Then I did 4 more weddings all by myself, and amazingly, I made it through those too! And without nerve pills!

I wish I could say that ended my quitting streak. But it didn't. Once I got in college, I found myself facing the same thing. Faced with full classes, registering was near impossible. Upon being advised to just take random classes, I found myself quitting again. Not on college, just on that college. I transferred to another local, private Christian college, where I got my first taste of Christian counseling. It was here that I discovered that Christian counseling was what I really wanted to do. I was only there a semester until I transferred colleges again - this time because I was married and following my husband.

I spent the next 3 years getting a secular counseling degree. Then decided to quit again. I hadn't made any real connections with people and I just didn't like college. Who cared about grad school? I certainly didn't.... But that wasn't true. I wanted another degree. Shoot, I needed another degree if I ever wanted to have a job. And after being told it was likely we'd never have children on our own, I decided that immersing myself in a career was my best bet. So, off to grad school I went.

And before I could even really get started, I already started trying to quit. When asked what area of counseling I wanted to go into, I chose Psych Testing. Not because I had any interest in sitting around all day giving IQ tests and the like, but rather because I was too afraid of sitting in front of someone who would look to me for help. I didn't want any part in that. But God had His hand in it and He spoke so clearly to me one day that I couldn't ignore Him. I couldn't quit on myself, because He never quits on me. The next week, I went and changed my major to Mental Health Counseling.

When pitted face to face with unprofessing professors, it was then that I found that soft, echoing voice that renewed in me a desire for Christian counseling. But it wasn't possible, at least that's what they told me. No one wanted what I wanted to offer. But I persevered and made it... and better yet, made friends and connections that I still have.

After graduating with my 2nd degree, a friend of mine told me about a Biblical counseling class being offered at his church. I signed up and drove over 2 hours once a week, for 3 months. This class forever changed how I view counseling. I had spent 7 years learning how to lead people away from Jesus, instead of to Him. And in 3 months time, I knew I could never be content doing secular counseling. It was shortly after that that I was offered the counseling job at our church and I absolutely couldn't have asked for anything better. It's amazing how God can use a quitter for His glory. And that's just what He's done.

Now here I am a wife and mother of two toddlers. And if I'm honest, there are days I just want to quit. Days that there are so many things I want to fix about myself that I just throw the towel in and say "Forget it. It's no use." Days that I'm tired of changing diapers and wiping noses, doing the laundry and the dishes. Days that I think if I have to break up one more argument or repeat myself for the 86th time that it'll do me in. Days that I'm tired of hoping only to be let down - hoping for restoration for my parents (which God has marvelously done), for myself, for the people that I work with. Yet God whispers "You're merely the planter. I'm the harvester". Days that I don't want to work on my marriage, work on myself, work with my kids. I just want to quit. Quitting easy. It's easier than looking ahead, running the race, and daily picking up my cross. It's just easier to quit. But I don't.

I persevere. I persevere in part because my dad loved me enough to teach me what hanging in there means. I persevere because I made a commitment. And I persevere because God made me a promise. Imagine that! He said "And let us not be weary in well-doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." (Gal 6:9). In due season I will reap. Me. IF, I don't faint.

So on days that I feel like quitting and packing it all up, I remind myself of this verse. Because holding on to His promises is the only way for me, a quitter, to stop quitting.

Recent Favorite Pics

Here are a few of my favorite pics that I've taken recently. Hope you enjoy them.

Butterfly at the Zoo

Eli looking at the ducks

Daddy and our Anna Poo

Eli admiring the waterfall

Anna and Daddy at the Nature Center

Butterfly at our house

"Agent Y" and his assistant

This Is How We Do It

There are a lot of people who wonder how we do it. How we live off one income, pay off debt, and contribute to savings each month. It's been said that there's no way we live off of just Mark's income, that we must have money coming in elsewhere. I assure you we don't have money flowing in elsewhere. Wish we did. But the reality is that most people don't even know what they're bringing home, and what's worse, have no clue where their money goes. So, if you're wondering how in the world we do it, with 2 kids, and me being able to stay at home - here's how.

#1 - we realize that we can do more with 90% than we can with 100%. At least 10% goes to our church and we also sponsor a child from Holt, Int. Everything we have is God's, therefore giving it back to Him and His church isn't a problem for us. It's an honor.

#2 - we don't spend more than we make. To help us avoid this, we use a budget. Before the month even begins, we sit down and create a new budget. It's typically very similar to all the other months, but changes and tweaks are made based on if we know we're going to be doing things (ball games, zoo trip) and then we can allocate more money to Entertainment or Gas. Therefore, before the month even begins, we have a basic idea of how we're going to spend our money... and then try to stick to it. Are there months that we don't quite make it? Yeah. But we also don't budget all of Mark's income (we try to live off a set amount), so that in the event we do go over a bit, we're covered. Un-budgeted, unspent income goes to savings or paying off our only debt - my student loan.

#3 - we don't use credit cards. It's estimated that when using a credit (even a debit) card that you spend around 20% more. In the rare event we do use a credit card, it's usually because we're working towards getting something free (free money, free plane tickets, etc.) but always pay it off within days of whatever we purchased. If you're not as disciplined, then simply don't use them, at all. There are very few people who can do this, Mark happens to be one of them, and it works in our favor. But most people aren't able to just spend with a purpose of getting something free, then immediately pay it off. So, I recommend not using them.

#4 - we try to remember that keeping up with the Joneses is preposterous. The Joneses are broke and can't afford what they have. We try to be content with what we have and realize that all that we have is God's. Acquiring more "stuff" only leads to a worse case of "stuffitis" - the "I want, I want, I want or I'm not happy" syndrome. At day's end, stuff is just stuff. How much of what we have is really going to matter in eternity? Very little.

#5 - other than those basic principles, the rest is how we legitimately do it. We use coupons and sales ads. For those of you who think it's a waste of time, it's not. I might spend 15 minutes a week cutting coupons and writing down the sales I want to comp at Wal-Mart. Doing so saves us, literally, $100's of dollars. If I can buy bread that's regularly $1.18 for 48 cents, I just saved 70 cents a loaf. Buy two loaves and I just saved $1.40. Do this with the majority of your items and it's easy to save $50+ on each shopping trip. Combine this with coupons, particularly at Kroger where they double up to 50 cents or Target where you can stack coupons, and you can get free, or near free, items. Does it require a little more effort? Yes. But not much, and certainly not enough to deter people from doing it.

#6 - we buy gifts year round. I typically try not to wait until the week or month of someone's birthday. Rather, if I'm out shopping and see something on sale, I ask myself "Who would like this? Would this be a good gift for mom, dad, brother, etc." We have a tote in the garage of just gifts that we've been buying all year. With this said, we also have come to the realization that there are times when we just have to say no. No, I can't buy a gift. No, I can't bring food to this, that, and the other. No, we can't attend this shower. Because the reality is between both of our families, our friends, our kids' friends, and everyone we know, we could be gifted to death if we allowed ourselves to be. We also make gifts. Instead of buying cards, the kids will often make cards and color pictures on them. Much more meaningful than a store-bought card and also a lot cheaper. There've been years where I took pictures of the kids for Father's Day, made a mini scrap book for Valentine's Day (cost me less than $3), etc. It's about being creative, combined with saying no, and thinking ahead.

#7 - while shopping, I look for bargains for next year. When a season is about to end, I'll start looking. I'll think ahead and say "Gee, I think Eli will be about a 4T next spring/summer", then look to see if they have that size in whatever is on sale. I recently just bought him 3 shirts for $1/each. They'll most likely be a Christmas gift or I'll wait and make them part of his birthday gift next year.

#8 - wait for it to go on sale. Have I missed out on some of the things I would've like to have gotten? Yeah. But not enough to deter me from still doing this. Most things eventually go on sale and by waiting, you can save a substantial amount of money. Either by buying it on sale or realizing a week later you didn't really want it in the first place.

#9 - for the kids' clothes, we typically shop twice a year (spring and fall) at an upscale consignment sale. For instance, last week I spent less than $37 and bought Eli 5 winter shirts, and Anna 4. Do they need more than this? No. Since I stay at home with them, we're in PJ's or play clothes most of the time. When they get older, we'll have to buy more. But right now (combined with what the grandparents get them), this works for us. And what's even better? Most of the clothes I bought were from Dillard's, Gap, or were another name brand. You can't hardly beat that.

#10 - I cut Mark, Anna's, and Eli's hair. It saves a ton of money, especially since the boys need their hair cut every month. I get my hair cut about once a quarter and stick to simple hairstyles that don't require being cut frequently, or require a lot of products.

#11 - laundry soap is laundry soap. Buy the cheapest. Better yet, make your own. I'm about to venture in to this myself using a recipe my friend, Heidi, gave me. Or you can also use this recipe from my friend, Penny Raine. And once you do your laundry, stay on top of it. Leaving it in the washing machine for a day or two and then having to re-wash it is not only a time waster, but a money waster.

#12 - see what you can cut in the area of utilities. We got rid of our home phone and have done just fine without it. We have a basic plan on our cell phones- which means no texting, internet, etc. We have the cheapest home internet rate in the area. We have basic cable, simply because without cable in this area you only get 1 channel. Had we been in an area that has a few channels, we wouldn't have cable either. It's amazing how much you can save by just sticking to the basics.

#13 - only run the dishwasher when it's actually full. How much water and dish detergent do you waste otherwise?

#14 - only use paper towels for spills or minor clean-up jobs. Use hand towels at dinner that can be washed and reused.

#15 - shop at yard sales and have yard sales. With 2 kids, we could easily get overrun by toys, clothes, and everything baby and kid. Have yard sales, clean out your garage, closets, and home, and better yet, make some money while you're at it.

#16 - Drink water. Cokes add up really quickly! We very rarely buy cokes to drink at home. If we do, it's usually Sprite because someone is sick.

#17 - buy off brand.... everything. Off brand foods taste exactly the same as name brand foods - there are very few exceptions to this (coke and chips). But since we don't buy cokes to drink at home, we don't' have to worry about this. There's usually about 20-30 cent difference, per can, which means buying off brand can save you quite a bit of money. Buy off brand clothing. It doesn't really matter. Seriously. This isn't high school anymore. Clothes bought at Wal-mart or JCPenney work and look just as good as clothes bought from the Gap, Aeropostale, Dillard's, etc.

#18 - stockpile when you find a good sale. When spaghetti sauce goes on sale for 78 cents/can, you can almost bet we'll buy at least 20 of them. Why? Because we use them a lot, they don't go on sale very often, and we save 20 cents/can doing so. The same applies to other items, canned veggies, meat, chicken, etc. We'll stockpile boneless, skinless chicken breasts when they're on sale for $3.99/ 3 lb. bag. You can hardly beat getting chicken for less than $1.33/lb. It's about thinking ahead.

#19 - Recycle. Not only is it environmentally friendly, but it saves trash bags. Since they give you a blue bag each time they pick up, we save at least 1-2 trash bags per week by doing this. Is this a lot? No. But does it add up over time. Absolutely! Trash bags are expensive!

#20 - Change your own oil in your vehicles. Saves the time you have to wait forever at a dealership or repair shop, as well as about $10 per vehicle per oil change. And while I'm talking about vehicles, drive something reasonable. We drive nice vehicles, but one is a '96 and the other an '05. We don't have to have the newest thing. What we have works and better yet, they're paid off.

#21 - shop around for the best insurance rates. When our home and car insurance went up, we immediately began shopping around to see if we could get a better deal somewhere else. And guess what, we did.

#22 - shop around for the best interest rates on your savings accounts. Sometimes, savings accounts don't really draw enough interest to make a difference. Shop around to see what you can do to make the most of your money. By swapping accounts around, we'll make several $100 dollars more just in interest this year.

#23 - look for ways to make money. By signing up for a rewards card, Mark was able to get us free plane tickets that we used to go to Disney World last year. By getting people to sign up for a credit union account, they earned $50, we earned $100. We made around $950 doing this. I recently put items in a consignment sale and made almost $100. We signed up for a card that would give you $100 if you spent $500 in the first so many weeks. I at first thought this was absurd. Who would spend $500 just to get back $100?? Well, Mark is very creative! He went to Wal-Mart and bought five, $100 gift cards that we then used to buy groceries over the next few months. We then signed me up for a card and did the same thing - making ourselves $200. We did this with a similar offer a few months later. It's about finding ways to make your money go further as well as finding ways to generate more at the same time. But again, unless you're able to be extremely disciplined and have the money to pay it off immediately, don't try doing this!

#24 - instead of going hogwild with wants on your birthday and Christmas lists, when someone asks what you'd like, state something you need. A lot of times, the things I need are also things I want. For instance, I can almost guarantee you that new kitchen rugs will be on my Christmas list. Do I want them? Yes. But I also need them since ours are rapidly falling apart. I can almost assure you that kitchen towels, bath mats, etc. will also be on my list. I do add stuff that I purely want - like CD's, movies, PJ's, etc. But I also add gift cards or money to the list (which are my favs). This is how I mainly buy all my clothes....and then I wait until they're on sale to buy them. I recently bought a $50 pair of jeans for $1.97. It's about waiting to find the best deal. This is how Mark gets a lot of his clothes as well. We do this with the kids too. Do they want toys? Yeah. But do they need ALL toys? Not in the least. They honestly often find the most random things to play with - like tupperware bowls, boxes, sticks, etc. So, I like for them to have some toys, but I also want them to get things they need - like clothes, stuff for their rooms (sheets, chairs, decor) etc. I also like educational gifts - and each year the kids get a family membership to the zoo, which is their favorite gift of all. Being practical serves us well and yet while we get things we need, we also end up getting things we want.

#25 - Stop eating out! Mark and I are pretty good about this. I know people who eat out every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I really don't know how people afford it. Putting the costs aside, unless you're eating Subway everyday, it's incredibly unhealthy as well. People say it costs just as much to cook as it does to eat out. This is simply not true. Take last night for example. I made Chinese (stir-fry). I fed myself, Anna, Eli, had leftovers for Mark to take to work today, and me and Eli will eat the rest of the leftovers for lunch. It cost me around $3.50 to make all of this:

If we'd of bought Chinese food, we would've gotten 2 plates/boxes and they're around $8/each. Over $16. Even when I make General Tso's chicken at home, we save a substantial amount of money. Even on steaks, Mexican, Italian, etc. It's cheaper to cook at home, especially when you use the other principles of price matching, coupons, and stock piling. With that said, we do occasionally eat out (2-3 times/month), but we follow some guidelines as well. We typically will always order water. I hate paying $1.50 for a drink when I can buy a 2 liter for .99, putting that into perspective helps a lot. We also will order things that we know go far - in order to share with the kiddos. And if places have the $1 menu, we'll order from it. And amazingly, no one starves! :)

#26 - whoever said you have to go out and spend money to have fun, doesn't know how to have fun! Mark and I rarely get to go do things by ourselves. Mainly because our family is over 2 hours away and paying a babysitter on top of going out to do something isn't really within our budget. So, we do things at home. We'll often rent a movie from Redbox ($1/movie), put the kiddos to bed, pop some popcorn, and have a date night at home. We also sign up for free trials of Blockbuster and Netflix and once you do this, they keep sending you 2 wk. free trials to try to get you to come back to them. Try it again, then just cancel, wait a few more months, and they'll do it again. We just finished a 2 wk. trial with Blockbuster and now got an offer for a free month from Netflix. Free movies equal a lot of free date nights. We're also known to play card games, pull out the Scrabble board, and just have fun doing things together. When it comes to things as a family, there's plenty to do as well. The local hospitals often have health fairs with games and goodies for the kids, the parks are free and have tons of playgrounds, and the nature center just had an event that allowed the kids to paint, learn about animals, play games, and get goodies too. The kids are also part of Dolly Parton's Imagination Library, where they each get a free book each month. They love books and love to be read to. If it's with friends, take turns swapping whose house you go to. Cook dinner and then play board games. There really are tons of ways to have fun that are free or cost very little. And we're not such sticklers that we don't occasionally do other things. Like this week, we're going to a football game and the fair. We're able to do these things because we save on so many other areas.

#27 - do your own home repairs if possible. Why pay someone to do something if you can do it yourself? We've (really, Mark) installed a new shower, fixed a broken pipe, re-did our hardwood floors, installed steps outside our back door, as well as tons of other projects.

#28 - if all else fails, get a temporary 2nd job. There for awhile, during tax season, Mark would work at Jackson Hewitt to make some extra cash. I also work part time at the church doing counseling, but not enough that it takes away from my job as a wife and mother.

So, this is how we do it. Most importantly, we remember that being content is what it's all about. Life isn't about how much I can acquire but rather how I use the money God has given me to make a difference for Him. And does it really seem like a sacrifice or like I'm being held back? Not at all. It's actually exciting to think that in the next year or two that we'll be debt free. And I can rest assured say that it will have all been worth it!

In It, Not of It

The older I get, the more aware I am of the ever failing status of the church. The purpose God intended for her has been masked in religion instead of relationship, gimmicks, and ultimately has all but been abandoned. We want to be amused and entertained with no cost to ourselves, our convenience, or the lifestyle we think we want and deserve.

I think the main problem is that so many 'Christians' are not adhering to the "be in the world, not of it" (John 15:19, John 17:14, I John 2:5) part of the Bible. Isn't this why the divorce rate is the same in the church as it is in the world? How many people sitting in the pews each Sunday can't break an addiction - drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography.... How many people are having sex before they're married, in the midst of an affair, or struggling with homosexuality? How many are in the night clubs or at restaurants drinking alcoholic beverages despite many of them having agreed to adhere to their church covenant that specifically says they'll abstain from doing so? How many use language not becoming of a Christian? Too many. And sadly, it's having just the impact that Satan wants it to have.

Those are the "big" sins we as Christians like to focus on. But what about all the gossip going on? What about backbiting, divisiveness in the church over selfish matters, stares of disapproval, and an overall lack of concern for the church as a whole? Aren't these just as bad? We too often care more about our selfish interests than that of the interest of Christ's church. We want what we want. We forget that the church is to submit to Christ, which means us as individuals making up the church as a whole. But do we? Do we submit to the best interests of Her, or get angry, begin finding those with similar thoughts and complaints, and form a posy that goes against the very essence of the church, its members, its staff....its purpose? Is it really any wonder why so many people are put off by the thought of Christianity and church?

How many non-Christians have laid in bed at night wondering if there was more to life? If this is all their life is meant to be? Searching and longing for more than what their life has become. How many of them have heard us speak of Christ, the church we attend, and examined us to see if what we say truly makes us different.. if what we claim is what can make the difference in their life? The thought is a very daunting one to me. Even more daunting is what most non-Christians find when they examine us. How many of us are more of a stumbling block (Romans 14:13, I Cor. 8:9, II Cor. 6:3) than an example? And I say "us" because there are days that I know that I'm not living up to the standard God calls me to. My sin is just as ugly as everyone elses.

God calls us to more than this! We are to be set apart from the world, not blended in to the point that we're indistinguishable. Do we believe the Bible or not? Do we believe Him when He tells us that this life is as a fleeting moment and that it's just our temporary home? Do we? Do we trust Him that we can stand apart and come through it okay? Do we believe that living a truly Christian life is what's best for us, our children, our family? Do we? Because the way we're going doesn't reflect this. It reflects anything but our love for God and His Word. And it saddens me. There are days that my own actions sadden me. How much more have we let the church down? God down? The thought is almost unbearable.

Join with me in living a life set apart for His glory, His church, His Word... for Him. Trust me - no, trust Him, when He says that you can't go wrong in doing so. Be distinguishable. Set Apart. A burning light. A city on a hill. Salt to the earth. Be what He's called you to be... His.

Not Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. To see what she and everyone else have "not" been doing this week, you can go to http://www.mycharmingkids.net/

Lets just say the past week or 2 has been plum full of Not Me! incidents. So grab a cup of tea and sit back and enjoy my "misfortunes". :)

I often try to help Mark out as much as I can. Really, I do. This usually means mowing the yard. I enjoy mowing (unless it's 100 degrees, then not so much). Last week was just another ordinary time of mowing the yard.... that is, until I ran over a piece of metal sticking up out of the ground - later to be discovered that it's the ground wires to the house. Evidently the rain washed away the soil, exposing wires that had never before been seen. I never even knew they existed.... until I ran over them. Then the mower wouldn't work. Well, it did. It just sounded quite odd and scalped the lawn. Luckily it was merely a bent blade and was easily fixed. I mean, who does these things? Certainly not me!

Who ran outside for no more than 2-3 minutes and returned to find this in the living room floor?

Certainly not me!!! (Eggs with lemon and lime juice anyone?)

Who's child dumped taco salad all over my brother and sister-in-laws floor? Not mine! (Ahem, Anna).

Who was in the middle of a conversation andd not paying attention to their daughter saying she needed help turning a light on (for the record, she didn't. she's incredibly tall and can reach about everything and I don't like to promote her interupting conversations)? Certainly not me. And who after she became more frantic finally got up to 'turn the light on' only to find water billowing out of the bathroom sink into the floor? Oh no, I assure you, not me! (It took like 10 large towels to clean it all up....)

While out to eat at Chili's for my brother-in-laws birthday, whose son had an absolute meltdown because I tried to wipe his nose? Most definitely not mine! Who then had to take him outside for his continued tantrum only to hear "I've been there!" while walking out? Nope, not me. My kids are always on their best behavior.

Who took Anna potty before leaving for Chili's as to not have to be interrupted during dinner with "I have to go potty" only to hear it anyway?? Who then took her potty, again? And then who had to run to Walmart immediately after eating to pick up TWO (yes, count them, all of TWO items) only to hear, again, "I have to go potty." Who then dismissed this as a mere crying wolf statement? Oh no, not me! Who then heard "Mommy! Uh oh. It's an accident." only to look down and see pee dripping down her legs and a huge puddle in the fabric department of Walmart? Ugh, say it wasn't me! Who then was further embarrassed by a couple waiting to have fabric cut then becoming onlookers? Onlookers to a scene that could've played out in a hit comedy of the year with my daughter slipping and falling in her own pee....twice. Please oh please, say it wasn't me.....

Us and some friends drove an hour and a half to eat at a hole in the wall BBQ place that is worth every minute of the drive and every penny of the gas! Anyone else think that good food is worth a 90 minute drive? I do! I mean, no, certainly not me.

Who laughs so hard they cry over ridiculously rude McDonald's employees? Not me! Seriously, these people were so incompetent (and no, I'm not saying fast food workers are incompetent, rather that just these particular ones were) it was ridiculously funny. I died laughing and continued on for the entire 15 minutes we had to wait in the drive-thru due to error after error, lack of common sense, and them trying to be rude but only being funny. Loved it! Best laugh I've had in months!

And finally, who during a yard sale has a daughter that randomly began asking people to give her money? Oh no, not me! (She made $1 that way and also gleaned an ink pen). Who also has a daughter that asked a yard sale guest if all 6 kids bouncing around in the SUV were hers? Nope, not me. My kids never embarrass me!

Anyone else have some Not Me! moments? Feel free to share them and join in on the fun!

Seasons

Just as there are seasons of weather, there are seasons of life. I find myself constantly needing to be reminded of this, despite knowing it quite well. I tend to think that I can do everything I want and then have no repercussions for doing it. Since about April, our schedule has been cram packed with very little wiggle room when you take into account Mark's work schedule as well as the days I work when he's off. This is somewhat of a glimpse of the past 3 months for us.

April 4 - church Easter egg hunt

April 10 - Anna's friend, Emma Claire's, Easter Party; Easter Services at some of our friends' church

April 11 - Anna's friend's (Kaitlyn) birthday party

April 13 - Eye Exam

April 23 - Pregnancy Resource Banquet

April 25 - March of Dimes 5K

April 29 - Baskin Robbins 31 cent scoop night; Parents meeting at church

May 2 - yard sale

May 4 - Mother-Daughter Banquet

May 5 - my dear friend, Ron Mitchell passed away

May 7 - visitation for Bro. Ron

May 8 - fly out to D.C.

May 8 - 14 - in D.C.

May 15 - return home

May 17th - Day of Revival

May 24 - 27 - my sister and niece here to visit, went to the park, the zoo, swimming, etc.

May 30 - Redbirds Game

June 6 - Eli's birthday party (note his bday isn't until the 20th)

June 7 - wedding shower

June 10 - Eli to the doctor; VBS workers meeting

June 13 - Anna's friends bday party

June 20 - wedding out of town; Eli's birthday, Anna friend's (Jaden) bday party, baby shower; of which the wedding was the only one I attended

June 22 - Eli's 2 yr. appt.

June 25th - left for St. Louis for Women of Faith Conference

June 26 - 27 - conference

June 28 - returned home

This didn't include church, meetings or appts. Mark had, his work days, the days I worked, or anything related to day to day living (like household chores and responsibilities).

The said part is that July isn't looking much better.

Coming up:

4th of July - fireworks at the fairgrounds

July 6 - 11 - VBS decoration and set-up

July 13-16: VBS

July 16 - dentist appt.

July 20 - my birthday

July 22 - my mom's knee replacement surgery

After two weeks of being in the hospital, my mom is going to require help, which my sister and I have volunteered to do. I don't know how it'll all work out, but the fact is, it'll just have to.

It's no wonder that I've been feeling absolutely exhausted, burnt out, and on some days at my wits end.

Amidst all of this, I've been trying to make changes that I know God wants me to make. I've set out on a mission to read the Bible cover to cover by the end of the year. I doubt this will happen because if I'm being honest, (I can do that here, right?) I all together skipped reading anything in January and February. Every since then, I've been really consistent, but playing catch up is really hard.

I've also been trying to exercise and lose weight. Do I think God cares how I look? Not at all. But do I believe He cares about my health and the way I take care of my body? Absolutely. I've pretty much been a slacker on this as well until the past month.

I've also been trying to work on patience. And let me tell you, God must really have a sense of humor because the way things have been going the past few weeks, He's really giving me a lot to try my patience out on.

Amidst the changes I'm trying to make, is every day life. Dishes, laundry, sweeping, mopping, dusting, vacuuming, toilets to be cleaned, trash to be taken out, the yard to mow, groceries to buy, and two very busy toddlers to take care of.

Add the events on the calendar into the mix and I'm not really sure how we've been pulling it all off.

After skipping two days of exercise, I found myself determined to fit it in this morning. Anna was up at 5:18 (*sigh*) and I was dragging around. I had (still have) a crick in my neck that hurt(s) horribly, but it didn't matter. I began talking to myself. It went something like this: "Self, I don't care if your neck falls off, you WILL do crunches. Get your lazy rear in the floor and just do it." So I did. Then I did 15 minutes on the elliptical machine. And I'm glad I did.

But what's my point in telling you this? Amidst my talking to my self, in a very negative manner I might add, God brought a passage of verses to my mind:

Ecclesiastes 3

1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.

2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.

3 A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.

4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

6 A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away.

7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

8 A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

Do I need to read my Bible every day? Yes
Do I need to exercise and stay healthy? Yes
Do I need to work on patience? Yes
Do I need to take care of my household? Yes
Do I think Christians should volunteer? Yes
Do I think individual time needs allocated for my husband? Yes
For my Kids? Yes
Do I want my kids to go to birthday parties and other fun things? Yes
Do I myself want to go to weddings and showers? Yes
Do I want to continue working part time? Yes
Do I want to go on vacations and short trips? Yes
Do I want a clean house? Yes
Do I want to learn to sew? Yes
Do I want Anna to take dance lessons or play soccer? Yes
Eli to play little league baseball? Yes

But the bigger question is: do I think it all has to be in this season of my life. And the answer is a simple resounding NO.

Prioritize. Prioritize. Prioritize. My babies won't be little much longer. And when they're gone, I still want to have invested enough time and energy into my marriage that Mark and I are still best friends. I want to be close(r) to God and have daily Bible time. I want to be healthy, for myself, for my family, and so that I'm still capable of serving and doing for my family and for my church. I want to invest the majority of my time and energy into being a Godly wife and mother so that I can raise children who will love and serve the Lord.

Everything else falls into the "if it fits" category. Even the New Year's resolutions I set. I will continue to study my Bible daily. But if I don't finish it cover to cover by the end of the year, oh well. I think God is more interested in me developing a better relationship with Him than He is with me saying "hey, I met a goal". I want to know that at days end, that I've accomplished things that really mattered and made a difference. If that means that the house isn't as clean as it could be because I was at the park with the kids, then I'm okay with that. If it means that I have to tell someone no so that I can have a night with my husband, then I'm okay with that too. Because right now I'm in the season of life that requires most of my energy to be put into my wonderful husband and my absolutely beautiful kiddos.

I can't do it all. And the first step is in acknowledging that and knowing that that's perfectly okay.

Mine

I want what most mothers want. For their kids to be happy and healthy, to be obedient, and to grow up to be adults who love God and His word. If I'm honest, this is often a struggle. It takes a lot of work. You have to be really diligent and consistent and in recent weeks I haven't been. After attending the Women of Faith conference last weekend (which I'll post more about later) I resolved to be better. To be a better wife, mom, and a better me.

Every since then, I've been met with obstacle after obstacle trying to hinder me making the changes I feel God wants me to make. Isn't it amazing how Satan decides to come out full force when we decide to start doing better?

Well, today was no such exception. After the kids made a huge mess transferring water from the bathroom to Anna's room via her kitchen pots and pans while I was working on something for the church, I determined I would not lose my patience. And I didn't. I cleaned up the mess, disciplined them, and then removed every single kitchen related item from her room (pots, pans, utensils, aprons, pot holders, play food, etc), including the kitchen.

Later on, her and Eli had absolutely destroyed her room and had toys everywhere. I expect this. They're toddlers. It's normal. But when I say "Please pick your toys up" I expect them to listen and obey. I followed with "Every toy that's not picked up will become mine for the day."

After a few minutes and ample time for them to have picked the room up, I returned. Nothing had been done. I expected to pick up some toys, just not near all of them. But a rule is a rule and I was determined to follow through with what I had said. And so I did.

All of these plus her kitchen and all it's accessories are now gone from her room. She still has a toy box of stuff to play with, which tells me she has entirely too much stuff (any other parent deal with this?). But the reality is that I want them to know a variety of things.

1. When Mommy says something, she means it.
2. I not only should obey, I should want to obey and even if I don't, I should do it anyway. This goes to a deeper issue of the heart.
3. There are consequences for my behavior, or lack of behavior.
4. Obeying Mommy and Daddy is what God wants me to do.

Do I do this to be mean? Not at all. I actually feel sad that she has very little to play with all day unless she raids Eli's room. The reason I do it is so that they'll learn the bigger picture. It's not always just about a messy room. It's about learning to obey and all that that entails (trusting Mommy and Daddy know best, obeying the Bible, trusting that God knew what was best for them when the Bible was written, that the Bible is still relevant and what we go by, and simply learning to follow rules which will go a long way in life).

I deeply want them to be obedient, not just because it makes things easier on me. But because it's honest to goodness what is best for them now and in the long run. I love them too much to not teach them obedience and respect... not just for us, but for other adults and authority figures.

And it's not about me always having to be in control. Just the opposite (although this used to not be the case). I want them to learn the control that they have. The control they have to either avoid or bring about the consequences of their behavior. I want to let them make choices about what they wear, which veggie they want for dinner, what movie they want to watch... Because part of raising children is also teaching them how to make wise decisions and then laying out for them the consequences of those decisions. I'd be naive to think that I'll always have control over them. I won't. So instead, I choose to help them learn how to make the best decisions possible. Be it what veggie they want, or be it picking up toys so they don't have them taken away for the day.

I simply want what's best. And even when it's hard, I'm going to try my hardest to still do it. Because I not only have to, I want to.